Do you have strong personal boundaries? I never really used to think about it or understand the implications. Looking back now, I can see how essential it is in all aspects of our lives, especially with staying clutter free and stopping chaos.
Through a lack of personal boundaries, I used to end up with stuff in my home that I didn’t need or want, can you relate?
If you can, I would like to share how to start taking control of your personal boundaries. First let me quickly tell you a funny story that demonstrates my lack of boundaries.
Many years ago, moving into my first home, the garden was a huge sand-pit.
I had no furniture, little money and was grateful for friends who helped me find cheap and cheerful second hand furniture.
Whilst on the furniture finding mission, one of the sellers also had a concrete mixer to which my ‘do it yourself’ good friend somehow manage to persuade me to purchase….’it will come in handy when you do the outside’…
Being a very ‘unhandy’ woman, it really begs the question, why did I buy it?
This was not an isolated incident, although this was the silliest and I would often find myself accepting stuff I didn’t need. You see, I didn’t know how to say ‘no thanks’ (even if it was just a suggestion). Nor did I consider what it would mean once I got it home, I didn’t think about where it would go or that I was adding more and more to my home but nothing was coming out.
Becoming aware of the effect it had on my home and understanding the key role strong personal boundaries plays was a huge step towards successfully eradicating clutter from my home and becoming organised, and you can do it too.
- Become clear about what you want and need in your home (no more ‘just in case’!)
- Put your needs first – it’s hard to take care of others if you don’t do this
- Decline politely and firmly “really appreciate you thinking of me, but this is not something I need/want…”
- If you are offered a bunch of stuff and only want some of it, accept that it might be better to decline the lot if it’s not appropriate “thanks, I could use [item] but not the rest, I understand if you want to give the lot to someone else…”
- No regrets – focus more on your home becoming less cluttered and less on the ‘what ifs’
As for the concrete mixer, it was never used and was happily sold on.
Don’t delay, start today
Sara